I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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