Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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