Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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