that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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