if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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