Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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