There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize