Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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