so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize