well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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