3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize