12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
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I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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