Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize