two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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