cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize