I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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