a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize