Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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