Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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