yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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