His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize