The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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