And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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