they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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