i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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