A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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