According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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