I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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