Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize