Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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