I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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