you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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