They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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