imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize