My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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