I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize