Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize