he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize