Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My liver just had a heart attack.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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