she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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