Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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