At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize