piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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