I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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