I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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