at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize