If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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