my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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