Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize