if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize