i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize